Lost

I don't know about you but some days I feel lost...
     lost: as in having gone astray or missed the way; bewildered as to place,direction, etc. (dictionary.com)
Lost in the sense of not belonging. I know we are just sojourners here. But we have purpose. To live like Jesus, love like Jesus. But what does that look like day to day.

In my job, you quickly find yourself feeling tossed around like a ping pong ball, boosting egos here, giving meds there, fluffing pillows along the way; you know you are a vital part of the picture, but no one seems to see that. I watch the selfless people that I work with hold their bladders for 12+ hours, with only eating candy that one of our coworkers blesses us with more days than not, giving all of themselves to each patient. Bouncing from code brown to code 99 to a stroke- taking care of family, friends, and patients alike. Staying late for your family, while missing family dinners, holidays, and the ups and downs of their own family's lives. And when they walk out that door at the end of the day- the emotions come, praying for you and your family in this hard time. They are my heroes.

I want to give selflessly for these people I work with and all those who come through the doors needing help. Giving attention to some who are lonely, pain relief to the hurting, stress relief for family, and all the physical care needed. But to go beyond that: to be kind always, to hug, encourage, make someone smile, be the vessel to carry that extra caring touch. 

Outside of work though- I want purpose and direction. I see all these lovely people my age getting married, having children, awaiting their child's arrival, traveling with their significant other. It's so beautiful. And one day I think I'd like that too, but right now- I'm not there. I want to love selflessly (even though I'm an extremely selfish person), I want to be lost in the service of others. I want every encounter to reflect Christ (which I am far from that). I want to crawl out of this shell of shyness, out of my comfort zone, and pursue these goals. 

In small steps- one day at a time.
For God is moving, I am not lost- He is my purpose.
As Cinderella's mother so eloquently put it "Be kind and have courage."
In love always

Intentional

Have you ever looked at someone and seen such great potential? Something they can't see and think they are not capable of making an impact like that.
As I watch those around me I tend to look at all their good qualities and potential. That's how I see them, how I truly believe they are, just something is holding them back or covering up their potential. It broke my heart thinking and hearing the things that hold us back from fully living out who Christ has called us to be, created us to be.  From fear of what our fellow man will say about us, that which we might lose, to the lies we believe, how we as humans can be so critical of each other in harsh and unloving ways.
What would happen if instead of judging our fellow man, tearing each other down, and confirming the lies we each struggle with, we built each other up, helped one another overcome the lies and challenges before us, spoke truth and life? What if just once a week, a day we intentionally encouraged someone and spoke life? Death and life are in the power of the tongue...
I'm challenged to do this, and I want to challenge you to the same.
After all, Christ said the world would know us by our love for one another... so let's allow Christ to shine through.

With love....
Lys

Here

The other day in class I was trying to distract myself from the topic of the week, just a simple escape from reality. I found myself daydreaming of flying to Florida, Idaho, and Colorado to see my best friends. I saw Rachel walking along the white sandy beach hand in hand with Nathan as their precious daughter slept upon her daddy's shoulder. Rachel's laugh was so warm and voluptuous, you felt drawn in to this moment to be treasured. Then I saw Casey curled up in Phillip's arms, up on this mountain that looks upon Boise. Tears were streaming down her face and at first I wanted to run to her and comfort her, but I was held back- then I realized, they were tears of joy. Joy that God is faithful, that He provides, that His plan is greater and more wonderful than ours. Then I saw Brandon standing on this rock that overlooks the Springs, his eyes filled with hope and wonder- just in awe. You see, these dear friends that I've known for years, have gone through so much heartache as well as joy. They love deeply- but it's not their own love, but rather Christ Jesus in them. While they each have their own struggles, as do we all, they are following a God who makes the impossible possible for his glory. That's when I found my self doodling this in my notes...

The beautiful journey of life begins when the fairytale ends.

 

 

The fairytale is not the best part of the story... it's what happens afterwards. The journey of life... that's what's important.

 

You see, in class we've been discussing death and the care of a dying patient (I'm in nursing school). Not my favorite topic especially after losing so many loved ones, but it's not anyone's favorite topic is it? But it is one that needs to be faced.

How do we live?

What is the legacy that you are leaving?

Is it about how good or bad of a person you are?

One of strength and dignity?

One of generosity or selfish greed?

Is it one of long held grudges and revenge or of great forgiveness of the unthinkable?

One of a victim or survivor?

Or is it one of selflessness?

One that shouts Gods glory?

A faithful life spent loving? 



Who is glorified in your life?

So here we are, on the Earth in places near and far. What is important to you?
Time is short and we must invest it wisely in what's important. May our hearts be turned to Abba. May we walk in love with hearts of flesh. And when we fail, may we choose to pick one another up rather than kick dirt each other.

Love always....

lys

7 months later

I can't believe it's been so long since my last post. Life has been full. But as I sit here, taking a moment to think back upon all that has happend in the past seven months, I'm continually astounded by God. I have a deep love for the Lord my God. Because of Him, there is life, love, joy, hope, healing, goodness, righteousness, humility, meekness, passion, empathy, sincerity, connection, longing, satisfaction, servanthood and so much more. Ever since He awakened me when I was a teenager, I've longed to live my whole life for him. I went to an internship that really spurred that on and helped me grow closer to my King and learn so much more of him. Since then I've been refined, challenged, broken, healed and grown closer to my Love, than I ever thought possible. But looking back over these past seven months, they've been filled with growth, but in a way I never imagined happening. To be honest, I had put up a front for several months, trying to disguise the break I wanted from God, not really from God but church and talking about God all the time and just being selfish, I wanted a break from all I had been expected of me, especially in the area of religion. I noticed that it had become religious, routine, no heart, just motions. And I hated myself for that. But I had to live up to the expectations of close friends and family, so I hid within myself. I closed myself off, from everyone, including me. And this was not healthy, good, nor godly. And for that I am deeply sorry. And thankfully, Abba was NOT going to let those walls remain. So here I am still coming out of it. And honestly, I've found myself back in the arms of my Savior, leaning against his chest, quietly listening for his heart beat and the peace it brings through all circumstances.
So for those of you out there, feeling like your stuck in a routine, religious motions with no heart, please seek God first and foremost, ask him to help you through, to bring you to a place of just you and him, not trying to please people. Afterall, it's not by pleasing them that we've coming to rest in the assurance of our salvations, but by Christ's perfect sacrifice and ressurection from the dead. So don't you think that if God can defeat death, that he can also rescue you right where you are at. The Holy Spirit is with you, you need not fear, for God is with you. And if God is with you, who can be against you?!
I remember coming into this year, with great expectation from God, and while we are already in August and it's been nothing like I expected, it's been what was needed. My best friend always tells me, that God doesn't give us what we want, but rather what we need. And I'm finding this to be ever so true, and looking back, I'm so grateful that He gives us what we need. I'm not sure I'm completely ready for what I want. All in His perfect timing. I'm in a place of being completely captivated each and every day by my King, I've given Him my heart and I'm taking each day as a new adventure between the two of us. I find myself completely blessed to be called a daughter of the Living God! And I'm in awe of how many times he takes my breath away, by God just being God. He is moving and living and changing lives. It's not by us his people that anything is accomplished, but only by him.
I pray that you find yourself completely in awe, breathless at His righteousness!!

In love always... lys

Secret place

A young women, seeking that which reaches the depths of who she is and satisfies every longing, every desire is found kneeling at the base of a tree. She is in clothes that are tattered and torn from all of life's messes, she's dirty from the things people have thrown at her, her heart if hurt and in need of holding. You see she's been walking through life, trying to carry the pieces of her life on her own. Little did she know that they weren't her's to carry alone. Till one day she was introduced to someone who quickly became her friend, her help in time of need and the one who showed her a love worth living for. Soon she became busy trying to impress her friend and bless her friend and stopped spending as much time with together. And she found herself longing once again and unfulfilled. Until one day her friend took her to a secret place in the middle of the pasture where a single tree grew strong and big. He friend soon told her of a life worth living, one that is fulfilling, that satisfies and gives a purpose. But most importantly that you'll never be alone. You see this young women more often times than not felt as if she didn't belong, as if she were an outsider not worthy of love or companionship. Her friend had shown her that there is LIFE in the midst of all this darkness. Told her stories of His love for her, danced with her and sung over her. Wiped all her tears and picked her up when she fell... and ever since then she comes, humbled to be able to be in the presence of her Savior, Friend and Father... God.

May we never forget that we are so blessed to be able to enter his courts, to enter the holy of hollies without ever leaving our house. For Jesus Christ came to save once and for all. For sin entered the world through one man, and MANY are saved from their sin by ONE man, Jesus Christ. He longs to spend time with us. He is everything we need. We are BLESSED to live in a time when WE ourselves can enter into his presence and not be struck dead because of our sin. When Jesus died and rose again the veil was torn and there is no longer a need for us to go to the high priest so he can enter the Lord's presence. WE GET TO!!!! What a beautiful thing!!! We can walk everyday in HIS presence. So let's have a Mary heart and sit in his presence worshiping and learning all he has for us!!!!

Beautiful things... when you least expect it

So many scenes come to mind when I hear the word beautiful, such as a thunderstorm in the middle of the night when your on a balcony with close friends in a different country, snow falling gently through the night as you worship the living God or stargazing on a dock in the middle of nowhere. Such beauty that God has created for us to enjoy. These moments tend to happen when we least expect them... and his creation... WORSHIPS HIM!!!! WOW

But what about the people in your life?

A best friend who at one point you weren't sure if you were going to make it another day... a moment when you realize you let each other down and the hurt that comes from it... yet grace is shown and God reunites you even stronger than before. To watch a broken girl turn into a beautiful woman of God who is now a mentor to so many and she doesn't even know it yet. A friend who when you first met was a broken and hurt mess, longing for real love, unconditional, life changing love. Through the years you SEE God transform her into a woman who is so BEAUTIFUL you sometimes have to look twice to believe what you see. A girl who was once so shy and insecure she wouldn't even speak when a stranger sat on her and introduced herself... so broken and hurt she didn't even trust herself and now... she's seeing her dreams come true and is walking in a relationship with God that she could never have dreamed of all those years ago. These three women... all in need of Jesus. All like the Samaritan women and the women who doesn't have much strength left, but uses everything she has left to reach the edge of the Christ's cloak, for if she can just touch the hem surely her life will change. A girl who has the potential of Esther, Ruth, Diane, Rachel and Mary. To see what Christ the Lord has done in renewing these women's lives, molding them and healing them is a miracle, a gift that can never be forgotten or taken away. You see these women are you and me, they are every women... they had women who mentored them and showed them Jesus... now it's our turn... so here we go... we are weak and in need of more of HIM... but by HIM and through HIM all things are possible.

So lets seek out the beauty in people, lets chase God and love him with all we are. Lets run this race strong to the end... let us seek justice, love mercy and walk humbly with our God... let us never forget from that which we came and that it's by grace through faith that we've gotten this for... lets never forget it's not about us... let us press on to know that we are running a race to win the prize!

Beauty from ashes...

we've all been there...

Cold Weather

Tonight the weather changes, the cold air rushes in and as I step outside my breath is almost taken away. O how I enjoy this weather, it quite and peaceful and reminds me of how much I need Jesus. I love to sit and have deep conversations over a hot tea with close friends at times like these. If only they all lived a little closer. But, I do want to change this. I miss having lots of good friends nearby. I've recently gotten over being sick, but while confined to the bed, 20 hours of sleep a day and a few too many Law and Order: SVU episodes, I can't help but be thankful. We are so blessed.

School keeps me busy and work is alright. But when I just stop, turn off the music and listen I find much joy. And also a longing for so much more of who God is. I want to know him and for him to know me. I think of all the kids here in Amarillo and Canyon who are orphans and just want a family. How if I could I'd buy a house big enough for us all and adopt them, but I can't for many reasons, so instead I ask God to do his work and to find these children families, but most of all that they'd know him, for he is a father to the fatherless, and o how wonderful of a Father he is!!!

My oldest brother and his wife are having a child and I can't hardly contain myself. He's coming to meet us in February, Callen Adonias Duncan. Meaning: Strong warrior, The Lord is my God. What joy a child brings to a family. I remember when Logan and Benjamin were born, o the sweet joys they have been and I hope our family just continues to grow.

Thinking of this, it makes me long for a family of my own, it's a longing that goes to the core of who I am, and in a way it scares me. I doubt sometimes if this will ever occur or if it's just a far away dream that will never come true. But one thing I do know is the Lord is good!!! And He is holy and righteous and so in Him I place my trust. And hopefully one day a dream will come true.

Hosea 6:1-3

-this verse always remains in my heart.

Ephesians 3:19-21

¹⁹ and to know ^(A)the love of Christ which ^(B)surpasses knowledge, that you may be ^(C)filled up to all the ^(D)fullness of God.

^{20 (E)}Now to Him who is ^(F)able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, ^(G)according to the power that works within us, ^{21 (H)}to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations ^[a]forever and ever. Amen.

How amazing it is to have God who knows no impossibility and has made us for relationship with him!!! And his heart for all the peoples of the earth is to know him and be known by him! And so... His will be done, not ours, but his!

I love you Jesus!!

P.S. You all should check out the song Esther by Esterlyn.... it's a song thats been on my mind so much...it's very much what I want to see done in the lives of God's precious and sweet children...