Old self vs. New self

Yesterday I went to church with my family at a church that a few friends and us started. It is a branch off of Hillside Christian Church in Amarillo, TX. You know the church that did the cardboard testimonies... well... this is the original church that did those and they still do on a regular basis. Well I was at one that my best friend, Rachel, her dad is the pastor. So going there is always a little strange, I know this family sometimes better than my own I feel like sometimes. You see I used to be over there all the time and would go to there house without them even being there. Needless to say I know even the skeletons in the closet. Yet I know that the Lord has most certainly called this family as the pastors of our quickly growing church. Dad (the pastor) continually pours out wisdom to me and encourages me to push forward, he calls me Esther most days, cause he says I'm a modern day Esther... not quite sure what that looks like, but hey I trust him. Mom (Rachel's mom) is so sweet and caring, yet really outspoken. As a mother of 4 she is a strong, happy, joyful, God fearing woman. Her children praise her and her husband adores her. Mom pushes me hard every time I see her. She asks me the hard questions and helps me in times of uncertainty. Rachel... well there is so much I could say about Rach.... but I'm going to leave it at we are best friends and we know that the Lord is the one who formed our friendship and nothing can break our bond as sisters. We know this, because we've gone through the hardest things you can ever go through as friends.

Well Dad was talking and he was talking about Luke 2 and the man who circumcised Jesus how he was a rearward looking man... once he had seen the Christ he was ready to die... literally. Then the prophetess Anna how she was so joyful that redemption that she had been longing for finally came, she was a forward looking woman. Dad asked if we were focusing on the past or looking forward to the future. Are we living in consolation or for eternity? This helped me realize how I had been holding on so tightly to certain things in the past so tightly, some good some bad. Then God led me to a place of surrender. To a place of letting go of the past and walking forward. While this may be hard in lots of ways, I am already victorious in Christ, and I am going to hold onto this!! I am holding on to Jesus, to let go of the past and look forward to the future!!! And live for today!!

:D