Cold Weather

Tonight the weather changes, the cold air rushes in and as I step outside my breath is almost taken away. O how I enjoy this weather, it quite and peaceful and reminds me of how much I need Jesus. I love to sit and have deep conversations over a hot tea with close friends at times like these. If only they all lived a little closer. But, I do want to change this. I miss having lots of good friends nearby. I've recently gotten over being sick, but while confined to the bed, 20 hours of sleep a day and a few too many Law and Order: SVU episodes, I can't help but be thankful. We are so blessed.

School keeps me busy and work is alright. But when I just stop, turn off the music and listen I find much joy. And also a longing for so much more of who God is. I want to know him and for him to know me. I think of all the kids here in Amarillo and Canyon who are orphans and just want a family. How if I could I'd buy a house big enough for us all and adopt them, but I can't for many reasons, so instead I ask God to do his work and to find these children families, but most of all that they'd know him, for he is a father to the fatherless, and o how wonderful of a Father he is!!!

My oldest brother and his wife are having a child and I can't hardly contain myself. He's coming to meet us in February, Callen Adonias Duncan. Meaning: Strong warrior, The Lord is my God. What joy a child brings to a family. I remember when Logan and Benjamin were born, o the sweet joys they have been and I hope our family just continues to grow.

Thinking of this, it makes me long for a family of my own, it's a longing that goes to the core of who I am, and in a way it scares me. I doubt sometimes if this will ever occur or if it's just a far away dream that will never come true. But one thing I do know is the Lord is good!!! And He is holy and righteous and so in Him I place my trust. And hopefully one day a dream will come true.

Hosea 6:1-3

-this verse always remains in my heart.

Ephesians 3:19-21

¹⁹ and to know ^(A)the love of Christ which ^(B)surpasses knowledge, that you may be ^(C)filled up to all the ^(D)fullness of God.

^{20 (E)}Now to Him who is ^(F)able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, ^(G)according to the power that works within us, ^{21 (H)}to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations ^[a]forever and ever. Amen.

How amazing it is to have God who knows no impossibility and has made us for relationship with him!!! And his heart for all the peoples of the earth is to know him and be known by him! And so... His will be done, not ours, but his!

I love you Jesus!!

P.S. You all should check out the song Esther by Esterlyn.... it's a song thats been on my mind so much...it's very much what I want to see done in the lives of God's precious and sweet children...

Welling thirst for Living water

There is a church in town that displays witty sayings on there marquee, but this week, it's simple and o so truthful.

"Seasons change, God doesn't"

Through all of life, Abba has been the same. He's never wavered from any part of himself. He has always spoken truth, always loved, always been just, always been good and always unfathomable. This past week has been filled with it's own worries, and yet I rest in His peace. As Jesus states in John 16 "I have spoken these things to you, that in Me you may have peace. In this world you will have tribulation, but take heart, for I have overcome the world."

Wow!!!

But overall these past couple weeks, I've learned and I've seen how disgusting I am. That this sin, which I fight with day in and day out, is muck. It's as filthy rags, even as used menstrual products. And who wants to be around that. Yet we all sin and all lay here in this state. What is it going to take for me to realize that no matter what Abba is here, with me? Jesus has taken this sin away and I am free from this. Well let me tell you...

There is a woman I feel like I can relate to in the Bible. She is by no means what we would consider a "wholesome" or "beautiful" woman. She is the topic of the gossip in town. She is the one who walks with shame, she avoids people, keeps her head down and would have the scarlet letter shining above her as a neon sign. She's made some mistakes and has even more regrets. Yet here she is in the presence of the Messiah, and she doesn't even know it. Jesus asks if he can have a drink of water from her cup... wow... there are just a few things wrong with this picture:

1. She is a Samaritan woman

2. Jesus is a Jewish man

3. Jesus asked to take a drink from her cup, which according to the law, would make him ceremoniously unclean

4. She has had 5 husbands and currently lives with a man who uses her

5. They are talking to one another in a public place

Yet Jesus loves her. Confronts her and lets her know He is I Am. This is only one of two times Jesus ever takes on the name Messiah. What does she need more than anything... the Messiah. So here her life is changed forever.

May we all realize and come to this point in our lives. When we hunger for the living water, and not drink from the wells of this world to be satisfied. May we see our filth and thank God for his redemption of our lives. May your life and mine be changed by the conversation with Jesus. Though short, it pierces to the depths of who we are.

So here I'm trading these rags for riches. To live a life set a part. Looking forward to the day, that there are no more tears of sorrow, and to be in the very presence of the Messiah. Abba, friend and Lord.