The life of small hands, a big heart and a burning desire to see the world know LOVE in an intimate way... And the adventures and life lessons along the way.

Friday, March 27, 2009

A Turn Around

Last night was the begining of a turn around, a changing point, a few more faces in my dream about life.
It continued throughout today through conversations with a my brother who is so far away, a sister in South Carolina, a best friend in California, and it all started last night with my sister who has overcome so much in her life, faces what has happend every waking moment, and has scars that tell a beautiful story of God's grace and mercies upon her life. I was simply reminded of all the things I learned last year, the changes that happend in my life, the person that I am in Christ. I had started to take it all in vain, falling back into someone I refuse to be!
I am no longer filled with pessimism but JOY
I am no longer overwhelmed by sadness but seeing the HOPE
I am no longer listening to the lies and deception, but clinging to TRUTH
I am choosing to SEEK
I choose to LOVE
I choose to TRUST you
I choose LIFE
The Lord has shown me so much today and I am so thankful for HIM, for His mercies which are new every morning, and the grace that he has upon my life. For He knew my days before I ever existed.
Today is going in a journal that someone very dear gave to me at the end of last year. For it is a point in time, that things clicked and a portion of a dream that I had last year came to pass.
The faithfulness of the LORD!! Praise be to the King of kings and Lord of lords!
His steadfast love endures forever!!!!!!

Love always...


Sunday, March 22, 2009

? Is missing your friends pitying yourself?
I miss my best friends so much and my lil bro!
Ok there I said it... I was completely honest, now I'm going to bed, and Jesus is going to give me sweet dreams and be with me the whole time, cause he loves me too much to let me go!!!!

Love always....

Mirror game with myself

Well, I won't tell you what I see, right now.
However this is how I feel.

I am so blessed to have seen my parents this weekend! They blessed me so much. I was so happy that I got to go see them for a little bit!!

You know how sometimes you just get the lonely feeling...well it's still here. I know I'm not alone, this is a season that will pass! I am loved and cherished by my creator, I am never alone!!!

I had the worst longing ever today!!! It scared me so bad!!! I wanted to just be held by my biological father, Eddie, which NEVER happens. If you even know the slightest bit about him, you know how scary that is!!! However, I totally know now what it was, I truly just want to rest between Daddy's (the Father) shoulders, to sit in his lap and feel his heart beat as I just lay there listening... pitter patter pitter patter... His love just overflowing, peace beyond comprehension.

I am well. No worries :)

Have a wonderful week, may the Lord clothe you in His strength, joy and peace. May your friendship with Him grow even deeper this week.

love always...

Monday, March 16, 2009

Faithful is the Lord God Almighty!

Monday night I was babysitting three little friends of mine. The two older ones had gone to sleep. Karter, the youngest at 2, doesn't normally go to sleep for anyone except his dad. This is what happend. I was in the chair writing a letter, Karter was on the ground playing with his truck. He looked up at me and the conversation is as follows:
Karter: Issa
Me: Yes Karter
Karter: Jesus LOVES me!
Me: Thats right Karter He loves you so much
Karter: Issa, He will never leave me. Look He is here right now. SEE!
Me: Thats so true, Never forget that!
Karter: He loves me so much he is always with me. He refuses to leave me because he loves me so much!

I needed to hear Jesus tell me this so badly, he told me through the mouth of a precious red headed 2 year old boy. At that point Karter asked to sit in my lap so i put him in my lap and he went right to sleep. That was this little ones purpose that night. No wonder Jesus said let them come to me. The children truly do know Jesus! They know that GOD truly is GOD!!!
God is so faithful!
Holy Holy Holy is the Lord God Almighty
Holy Holy Holy is the Lord God Almighty
Holy Holy Holy is the Lord God Almighty

Oh Lord look at the flowers, how they bloom to show you the beauty you have made, O child of mine, I gave them to you, to remind you of my love, mercies that are new every morning!

My soul can't dance without you O LORD!
You give me the very breath I breathe.

There is a love as strong as death, jealousy demanding as the grave, waters cannot quench this love!

My heart is yours...!

The Joy of the Lord is my strength.

You are ever faithful LORD!

Friday, March 13, 2009

Confirmation...over and over... and more...

Well this morning I was reading in Matthew, I am so stuck in that book right now, and I enjoy it! Anyway, I was reading in chapter 10 or 11, I'm pretty sure it was 10. Jesus was talking about how mothers will be turned against thier daughters, father's against thier sons, in-laws turned against one another, but how the Lord is going to use this. Bring the father's to the daughter, the sons to the mothers and the in-laws to one another. Then it talked about how we must love the Lord so much more than we love our parents or friends. That really hit me hard. You see i'm moving to Arlington in May and no one really in my family is for that except my oldest brother, but he'll be there as well. It hurts my mom the most, and me and my mom are like best friends. She isn't supporting me at all in this and said she won't help me period. Which I understand, but can't explain, cause you'd have to hear about my whole life, and I'm pretty sure you don't want to read it. If you want to know just call and ask, and i'll tell you in a few minutes. Anyways, it hurts that I'm hurting my mom in this. So many lies are flying at her like: I'm betraying her. I'll never speak or see her again. I'm moving to find happiness and not out of obedience. and so on...
Well last week a friend of mine told me about this verse and it's been on my mind. I came across it accidentally. After I read it I knew that the decision about moving was the right one, even though it's going to be hard. Thank you Jesus for your faithfulness and confirmation!
I'm learning so much about the Lord's faithfulness! He will never let you down!! He might do something that you don't want him to do, but he will never leave you or betray you or lie to you, for that is the very opposite of who He is. He always answers your prayers, he sees every tear that is shed, and every pain inflicted.
I must say I miss my friends a lot, but I don't feel so lonely. Jesus, I know he is with me and that is all I need. He has taken away the lonliness I've felt for so long. I still feel it occasionally like this afternoon, but I remember the very promise that God gave me! I'm finding my need of affection in Him, instead of people.
Just in case you don't know, a friend of mine, and if you are reading this, you probably know him as well. Tried out for So You Think You Can Dance today and I think it goes on till tomorrow, he is in Tenessee. This just reminds me to live life with no regrets! There is a song that you prolly know, especially if you know me, and one part goes:
So heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss and my heart turns violently inside of my chest, I DON'T HAVE TIME TO MAINTAIN THESE REGRETS when I think about HE LOVES US.
So the things in your past that might be regrets, think about the lessons you've learned and the good that has come from that, you wouldn't be where you are right now if it weren't for that! Take chances! Live a life of risk taking faith. (i'm preaching to the choir right now, not to you.)
Sorry for all the blabbing.
Have a blessed day! No matter who you are, reading this right now... seriously, be blessed by the Lord. He gave you that breath you just took.
I love you, by the grace of God, I love you! He gave love to me!

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

And we wait...what do you we do?

He made the lame walk and the dumb talk
He opened blinded eyes to see
that the sun rises on His time...
The world waits
while His heart aches....

Why does his heart ache?
Because of the great love he has for His children and yet how few of them know his love! So many are in utter darkness with no hope, cause they don'e know how to look up.
Are you just waiting?
Are you doing something while you wait?
Prayer has been on my heart for over a month now. I was just visiting some friends of mine this last week who live in east and north Texas, man o man how we saw how vital prayer is!
I'm still working on praying as much as I want to every single day. I fall so often. But how the Lord's grace is so good! He is faithful in all things!
I encourage you to pray without ceasing, have a conversation with the Lord all the time, let it be the very foundation of your day. There is a direct corelation between your prayer life and the intamacy that you have with the LORD!!!
Is your heart breaking for His children?

And we wait...what do you we do?