I can't believe it's been so long since my last post. Life has been full. But as I sit here, taking a moment to think back upon all that has happend in the past seven months, I'm continually astounded by God. I have a deep love for the Lord my God. Because of Him, there is life, love, joy, hope, healing, goodness, righteousness, humility, meekness, passion, empathy, sincerity, connection, longing, satisfaction, servanthood and so much more. Ever since He awakened me when I was a teenager, I've longed to live my whole life for him. I went to an internship that really spurred that on and helped me grow closer to my King and learn so much more of him. Since then I've been refined, challenged, broken, healed and grown closer to my Love, than I ever thought possible. But looking back over these past seven months, they've been filled with growth, but in a way I never imagined happening. To be honest, I had put up a front for several months, trying to disguise the break I wanted from God, not really from God but church and talking about God all the time and just being selfish, I wanted a break from all I had been expected of me, especially in the area of religion. I noticed that it had become religious, routine, no heart, just motions. And I hated myself for that. But I had to live up to the expectations of close friends and family, so I hid within myself. I closed myself off, from everyone, including me. And this was not healthy, good, nor godly. And for that I am deeply sorry. And thankfully, Abba was NOT going to let those walls remain. So here I am still coming out of it. And honestly, I've found myself back in the arms of my Savior, leaning against his chest, quietly listening for his heart beat and the peace it brings through all circumstances.
So for those of you out there, feeling like your stuck in a routine, religious motions with no heart, please seek God first and foremost, ask him to help you through, to bring you to a place of just you and him, not trying to please people. Afterall, it's not by pleasing them that we've coming to rest in the assurance of our salvations, but by Christ's perfect sacrifice and ressurection from the dead. So don't you think that if God can defeat death, that he can also rescue you right where you are at. The Holy Spirit is with you, you need not fear, for God is with you. And if God is with you, who can be against you?!
I remember coming into this year, with great expectation from God, and while we are already in August and it's been nothing like I expected, it's been what was needed. My best friend always tells me, that God doesn't give us what we want, but rather what we need. And I'm finding this to be ever so true, and looking back, I'm so grateful that He gives us what we need. I'm not sure I'm completely ready for what I want. All in His perfect timing. I'm in a place of being completely captivated each and every day by my King, I've given Him my heart and I'm taking each day as a new adventure between the two of us. I find myself completely blessed to be called a daughter of the Living God! And I'm in awe of how many times he takes my breath away, by God just being God. He is moving and living and changing lives. It's not by us his people that anything is accomplished, but only by him.
I pray that you find yourself completely in awe, breathless at His righteousness!!
In love always... lys