So yesterday everyone but Em was home and so we were discussing living arrangments as Em has asked to have her own room. (which therefore puts me in an odd perdicerment). So after trying to figure something out where no one is really put out or anything...I let Em know that we have found a solutionn and we can move stuff around when she gets off... well...that didn't happen. So here I am the next day...still the same problem with a totally different attitude. Em is still in the same room as I. I no longer feel estranged from her...just a little hesitant. This seems to be where a lot of my relationships stand right now... and with people who are really close to me as well I might add. I have found myself overwhelmed with love for this inparticular friend of mine... something I wasn't sure I had for her. But by prayer this has happened...by the Fathers doing.
Our house has since decided to all go our seperate ways...Lynn gets married in a month...Brooke will move in with some girls from the prayer room...Em will get an apartment... Allie will move to Fort Worth... And I... well... we will have to wait and see. I know the Lord called me here to DFW for a reason and I am not going to walk away from that. He just has to provide a way, a better job and a place to live... So here I find myself in yet a familiar place... walking on faith for his COMPLETE provision. If you have known me for more that o say about 6 months you've prolly seen me make it by some miracle or another to pay the bills or pay for school. He always provides... just I never know where it is coming from.
The Lord gives and He takes away... there is this song that has been stuck in my head for the past day and it is by todd agnew... at one part it says... Lord won't you give me a little more cause my heart breaks for those kids and all i have is not even enough for me...the Lord responds...why don't you let me have the rest of what you have and I will give you some real wealth... well I know that's not money... it's eternal wealth...this is what I want... but can't quite seem to get there.
I'm reading this book right now... the Lord Almighty amazes me!!! I want to tell you all that he is showing me right now... so much revelation and realizing so much... :D AHHHHH!!!
But I'll have to leave it at this....
"they will no longer call me 'my master' but will call me 'my husband'"
I can no longer call me my master... but can't help but to call him my husband
Well...it's late and I have to open...so that means I won't get much sleep tonight...but thats ok...