I don't even know if anyone reads this but that doesn't matter...

I am excited about the begining of march. I get to see my best friends for the first time since we went our seperate ways in december. They are such a blessing! I get to introduce my best friend from Dalhart to these friends, who are some how, in a miraculous sort of way, closer than friends.
I'm starting to look at things in a much different way than before. I am so thankful to find a body of believers that allow God to move. They are a family. So welcoming, they are Jesus to everyone they meet, even outside the building.
Me and Rachel had our first full out verbal fight. The reason: we don't want to other one to get hurt anymore. We ourselves would rather be hurt than to see the other one in any pain. We are both learning trust. Just in much different ways. Boy how both of us have changed over the last year.
God is truly good! It means so much more than it sounds. This english language can't even begin to explain the beauty of the Lord.
Psalm 119 is so true! So applicable, I'm starting to learn what was meant when these verses were writen. I am especially fond of the last verse of Psalm 119(vs. 176). then go to Matthew 18:10-14. I really like the book of Matthew... you should read it sometime.
Questions are always running through my mind right now about the scriptures, once one question is answered, like 10 more come up!
The more I get to know Him, the more I don't know. :D
I am a great sinner who is in need of a mighty saviour, Jesus paid the high price for me! I was helpless and then rescued.
Food for thoughts....
-write criticism in the sand(like Jesus did with the adultress), carve praise in stone(like our names are in the book of Life.
-a healthy relationship is the union of two good forgivers
-it was in the moment of your worst sin that Christ died for you...thats the beauty of grace
-when you give your life to the Lord it doesn't take away your ability to sin, it takes away the possibility of enjoying it
-a short story...so true though!
So this professor asks a guy if he thinks he can do 300 pushups in class in sets of ten, he normally does 200 a day, he agrees hesitantly when he is told he has a week till he'll need to do this. So a week later, the professor brings in donuts to class, exciting! He asks the 1st person do you want a donut, sure they respond, so he puts down a napkin and donut and tells the pushup man to do ten pushups to pay for this donut. The next person says they would like a donut when asked by the professor(they hadn't caught on yet), so the push up man does 10 more to pay for the donut. By the third person they catch on to what is happening, so when asked if he wants a donut the third person says no thank you. Professor says ok, grabs a napkin and donut and places it in front of the third person, sure enough push up man does 10 push ups to pay for the donut. Well this continues on and people passing by see that the class is getting free donuts so they start coming in and joining, well the class sees what is happening, after the pushup man has done about 280 pushups he starts shaking and the class starts yelling at people to not come in. Well, 360 pushups later, everyone has a donut in front of them, every one paid for with ten pushups. The professor says why not take the donut if it's already been paid for? It's the same thing with salvation. It's just sitting there, waiting for you to take a hold of it. It's already paid for. Just take the free gift.
hmmmm......why not?
Thank you Jesus!!!!

friendships

Fight for them! Don't let an arguement tear you apart. Friendships are a blessing from the Lord. Talk to them face to face after an arguement, let them see your heart. I learned this today. It was hard. But I'm glad we talked!

Well I have found myself in love with someone.
It happend so quickly and it wasn't till I paused for a moment and looked back. I have fallen in love with this amazing man. He is so kind and gentle. He is strong and courageous. He is a mighty man of valor. He loves me unconditionally. Everytime I mess up he picks me up and helps me get going again. Everytime I need someone to hold me he does, until I fall asleep in his arms. He is so close yet so far away.
He is perfect in every way. I'm sure you'd love him too! He is the one I've always wanted. He is so much more than I could ever imagine. He sees me as beautiful and without flaw.
Yeshua is his name
Jehovah Jirah
Shalom
Prince of Peace
King of Kings
Comforter
Joy
Hope
Love.

Humility of a child

Matthew 18:1-6
Mark 9:33-37
Luke 9:46-48
Who is the greatest?
Jesus. Who is like Jesus? This little boy who was just walking by. Why is he considered so great? Because of his humility. What is so special about his humility? He depended on the Lord. He didn't stay back because of feelings of unworthiness, nor did he run ahead to see what was next. He stayed with Jesus right there. Not wondering off or trying to do things on his own. He knew he needed this Savior. He trusted in the Lord knowing that he would not lead him astray, but instead walk him down a path of righteousness and holiness. A path of servanthood.
Jesus is so humble!
He depended on our Father for everything, for the water he drank, the food he ate, the clothes he wore, the money he needed to simply survive traveling. He knew he needed God, and he trusted him. All the way to death on a cross.
Now I have to ask myself the question. Do I trust God to lead me and take care of my every need? Do I trust him to lead me down the right path, even if it meant dying in a not so pleasant way? Do I trust? Am I humble? Do I depend on God for everything? Or do I try to do things on my own, because I was raised to be independent?
I would like to say that I am fully dependent for every need. I'm not sure I am. I'm trying to be. And I definitely was last year! So I know he provides. I need Him each and every day. His love, his truth, his teaching. I need him to hold me and to talk to everyday. I'm learning humbleness like that of a child.
Well I'm off to crawl in my Daddy's lap! Oh how I need one of his embraces right now! He gives the best hugs!
:D

Broken in the desert

So i am going to start off with my step dad needs Jesus, he's rejected him so many times... I'm unsure of what to do but pray. He just lost his job and needs another one, he needs the Lord, his confidence and provisions, his promises... his faithfulness.... any ways
on to why i am writing this...

I need prayer!!! I am walking through a season of brokeness like I never have before. I am in the middle of the desert in a much different way. All has been stripped away. My friends are oh so far away. I don't know what a good hug is anymore (more like it's been so long I've almost forgotten what they are like). I feel so far, far from friendship and friends, far from God, far from family. Just far away.
I feel as though I've said goodbye to so many people to never talk to them again. I hate that, cause they are people I know I'm supposed to know for a long time. Well, or so I thought. It takes two to have a friendship. Right now I just need Jesus so desperately to grab a hold of me. I just want to collapse in His embrace. I want to walk down this path of brokeness, I do, I just need prayer is all.
Sorry, for sounding pitiful and like i'm doing horrible. Cause I am really doing quite well. I am learning to adjust to this new way of life. I am learning a lot about myself and about others and so much a bout God. My days are fine, just another day.
I just need Jesus...can you pray for me please!!! For healing grace strength and His embrace.